Jesus, Get On With It Already!

Dragon Quest bores me. To tears, even! But as the years go by, I keep coming back for more -- it's probably the wholesomeness of the entire experience and the fact that the Dragon Quest series has always had "growing up" and "maturation" themes scattered throughout its imaginary worlds. Despite the fact that many, if not all, of the games have been candy-coated and display Akira Toriyama art, they still have an underlying sense of depth. You can learn stuff from these games. They can change you.

Or, at least, I get that impression.

At the end of the day, I've only played the first and eighth game in the entire Dragon Quest series -- the others haven't been major sellers here in the U.S., and as such, never really caught my attention until a few years ago. They're HUGE in Japan (like the equivalent of a Halo or Grand Theft Auto here); because of this, I feel I should give them my respect. And with the release of the localized fourth Dragon Quest right around the corner on the DS, I also felt I should take a look at one of the previous entries.

It just-so-happened to be Dragon Quest VII.

Here, right now, as I write this blog that nobody will end up reading, I'm going to give this game a subtitle: "Dragon Quest VII: Jesus, Get On With It Already!" Seriously, I watched a couple Youtube walkthrough videos, and YOU DON'T ACTUALLY FIGHT ANYTHING UNTIL MORE THAN AN HOUR INTO THE ADVENTURE. That's insane! Ludicrous! And inexplicably genius! In comparison to the latest eighth entry, in which you and a fat guy slice through a group of slimes within the first couple minutes, Dragon Quest VII is like an old man in a wheel-chair trying to roll his way from LA to San Fransisco. Through snow. And the old man doesn't have any arms.

Maybe I was bored. Maybe I'm still just trying to respect a series that is held in such high regards esteem. Either way, watching someone else play Dragon Quest VII was enthralling. Don't ask me why. The guy playing it even took the time to speak to everyone he saw -- and then talked to them again when he knew that the person he was going to talk to was going to say the exact same thing they said the previous time he talked to them.

And then he talked to them again! ENTHRALLING!

At the very least, Dragon Quest VII was living up to its God-given subtitle...not that I'm God or anything.